Geoff

I can see! It’s a miracle!

South Australia No Comment
After weeks of sniggering over Geoff’s clanger at leaving his side stand down on our promo clip, my karma finally caught up with my dodgy dogma and savaged my ego.
My fall from grace came as was trying out my new super-dooper Schuberth helmet for the first time, thinking it might be an idea to get used to it before head butting a wallaby.
Pulling it out of the box, I was once again a little boy on Christmas morning.
I fiddled with the air vents, I opened and shut the face and visor, and best of all, flipped the integral sun visor that makes you look like Robocop, up and down interminably.
One minute I was a Storm Trooper from Star Wars ‘He’s your father Luke… aaarccch-hhhcccaaaww’, the next, Maverick in Top Gun, ‘He’s on my six, Goose!’ plus countless other fantasies, which I won’t go into as this is a family website.
Ah, the imagination is a great thing.
Planning a little squirt up to the Adelaide Insurance offices to relieve Sam Geddis of some readies, I suited up and headed off.
I had the visor up as I headed down the Antrim Road, sun visor down to look cool, so noticed nothing amiss apart from the fact that it was much quieter than normal under my lid and I could hear my engine a lot more clearly than usual because of the superior sound damping of the Schuberth.
It was only when I hit the Westlink that I noticed something amiss.
For the uninitiated, Schuberth helmets have a double visor set up which stops fogging. I’d noticed this feature, but trusting German engineering, hadn’t paid it too much attention. I’d also noticed that the inside visor had a kind of greenish tinge, but assumed that was part of the anti-fogging process.
Blasting along the motorway in the bright sunshine I found the view a bit fuzzy.
Hello, I thought, this isn’t great – what’s the point of an anti-fogging device that make the view permanently semi-fogged.
Soon I found myself riding with my head at an angle so I could see through the clear bit of visor at the top where the second layer didn’t cover.
It was like riding while looking through a letterbox at 60mph.
Still clueless, but still keeping the faith with the notion that there must be a method in this Teutonic madness, I arrived at Adelaide to put the hard word on Sam.
A cup of coffee and several anecdotes later, I set off again.
Now the sun had gone back into hiding and the more familiar grey aspect of Belfast emerged and I was starting to get a little annoyed with the view from inside my new hi-tech lid.
Riding the rest of the way with visor up, I arrived over at Geoff’s for our regular male-bonding session over a cup of finest Columbian gold and some French fancies from the little home bakery at Fortwilliam.
I raised the issue of the double visor and asked what he thought.
“How do you find it Geoff? Don’t you think vision is a bit poor? There’s not much point in having an an anti-fogging device if it makes you feel that you are permanently riding in a light mist.”
Geoff looked at me perplexed and set off to hunt out his own Schuberth.
He took it out of its bag. Looked at it, looked at mine and looked at me, an evil smile curling his top lip.
“You haven’t taken the the protective plastic coating off, ya bloody Aussie drongo!”
And verily it came to pass that Colin was brought low!
No more schadenfreude for me – those bloody Germans have made a big enough fool out of me as it is.

After weeks of sniggering over Geoff’s clanger at leaving his side stand down on our promo clip, my karma finally caught up with my dodgy dogma and savaged my ego.My fall from grace came as was trying out my new super-dooper Schuberth helmet for the first time, thinking it might be an idea to get used to it before head butting a wallaby.Pulling it out of the box, I was once again a little boy on Christmas morning.I fiddled with the air vents, I opened and shut the face and visor, and best of all, flipped the integral sun visor that makes you look like Robocop, up and down interminably.One minute I was a Storm Trooper from Star Wars ‘He’s your father Luke… aaarccch-hhhcccaaaww’, the next, Maverick in Top Gun, ‘He’s on my six Goose!’ plus countless other fantasies, which I won’t go into as this is a family website.Ah, the imagination is a great thing.Planning a little squirt up to the Adelaide Insurance offices to relieve Sam Geddis of some readies, I suited up and headed off.I had the visor up as I headed down the Antrim Road, sun visor down to look cool, so noticed nothing amiss apart from the fact that it was much quieter than normal under my lid and I could hear my engine a lot more clearly than usual because of the superior sound damping of the Schuberth.It was only when I hit the West link that I noticed something amiss.For the uninitiated, Schuberth helmets have a double visor set up which stops fogging. I’d noticed this feature, but trusting German engineering, hadn’t paid it too much attention. I’d also noticed that the inside visor had a kind of greenish tinge, but assumed that was part of the anti-fogging process.Blasting along the motorway in the bright sunshine I found the view a bit fuzzy.Hello, I thought, this isn’t great – what’s the point of an anti-fogging device that make the view permanently semi-fogged.Soon I found myself riding with my head at an angle so I could see through the clear bit of visor at the top where the second layer didn’t cover.It was like riding while looking through a letterbox at 60mph.Still clueless, but still keeping the faith with the notion that there must be a method in this Teutonic madness, I arrived at Adelaide to put the hard word on Sam.A cup of coffee and several anecdotes later, I set off again.Now the sun had gone back into hiding and the more familiar grey aspect of Belfast emerged and I was starting to get a little annoyed with the view from inside my new hi-tech lid.Riding the rest of the way with visor up, I arrived over at Geoff’s for our regular male-bonding session over a cup of finest Columbian gold and some French fancies from the little home bakery at Fortwilliam.I raised the issue of the double visor and asked what he thought.”How do you find it Geoff? Don’t you think vision is a bit poor? There’s not much point in having an an anti-fogging device if it makes you feel that you are permanently riding in a light mist.”Geoff looked at me perplexed and set off to hunt out his own Schuberth.He took it out of its bag. Looked at it, looked at mine and looked at me, an evil smile curling his top lip.”You haven’t taken the the protective plastic coating off, ya bloody Aussie drongo!”And verily it came to pass that Colin was brought low!No more schadenfreude for me – those bloody Germans have made a big enough fool out of me as it is.

Colin

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